I am enough starts with Enough! and a personal story

I have been contemplating on the quote that I came across a few months ago from Brene Brown, and she was talking about being enough, and how the feeling of being enough starts with saying Enough! Which to me means setting in boundaries with people around you who tend to push your boundaries, who tend to try to stretch you, but not in a good way, but In a way that they might make you feel that you're not enough, that you're not doing enough, that you're not smart enough, that what you're already doing is not enough. 

I had a situation yesterday at work with a client. For those who don't know, I am a massage therapist and I work at a clinic. A quick backstory: I had a client in the beginning of August who had an appointment. She called 10 minutes before her appointment started, and she said that she was running late, she will probably be 10 minutes late for her appointment. But because I was still in my working hours, I was able to accommodate her. When she came at 7: 10, she stayed for 60 minutes. I didn't have a client after her, so we talked that I can still do 60 minutes. She apologized for being late , and I was able to do a 60 minute treatment, and I put in my notes that she was late, but still able to do her appointment.

Fast forward to yesterday, when the same client had another appointment booked with me, and it was at four o'clock, but at 4:05 she was not in the clinic yet, and the receptionist called her.

The lady answered her phone very quickly, and said that she was actually sitting in her backyard enjoying the sunshine. She didn’t set up a reminder for her appointment. She wanted to come to the clinic, but she still wanted 60 minutes treatment. 

I started thinking, okay, yesterday was a Saturday, and the clinic is open till 5 o'clock. So her appointment was at 4pm. If we finish at five, it will be good. I'll be having a few extra moments to clean up the space, write my soap notes, and I will leave. But when she said that she would come and it was 4:05, she might probably come at 4:20, I said okay you can come for a 30 minute appointment, because I work till five and I don't stay past that time. So she was very upset, and she said that she's not coming. Then I told her, okay, then I need to charge her a no show fee, because I'm there and she's not there, and this is what you will usually do for no shows. You need to charge that. Then she got angry. How come the last appointment I was able to accommodate her for 60 minutes and now, I'm not able to accommodate her for 60 minutes. 

She said that she's pulling her file away from the clinic. She's pulling her other members of the family files away, and she won't be coming to our clinic because we do have poor customer service.

I was frustrated in the beginning. I felt that I did something wrong, but in fact, I set boundaries for myself. I took care of myself, and I said enough. I'm very proud of myself, and even though I still feel that I did something wrong, I'll be working on clearing the energy around it. 

How many times in our life we do things to please others and we don't feel good even though we go above and beyond for others to make them feel good, we don't feel good. And then on the other side, when we set up our boundaries, initially, we don't feel good. We feel that we did something wrong, because our whole life we were being taught, we were conditioned to please others, to make them feel good, that our needs don't matter, that we don't matter, that we don't deserve, that we don't have value. And growing up and piling up all the stories where we were shown by others that were not good enough because we didn't please them, affects us and down the road, when you apply for a job or you want to create a business, or you are creator and you want to create art or music or whatever is in your path, you always have this feeling of not being good enough. We always have that feeling that we need to please others, and if we don't please others, we're not worthy. If we don't make them feel good, that means that we did something wrong, and actually we didn't.

The only person that we need to please is us. The only person that is important and needs to feel good is me. I am the one who needs to feel good, you know, because if I don't feel good, how am I supposed to show up in the world and make a difference and to set an example for others, that if I put myself first, then they have the permission to put themselves first as well.

I know this lady was angry. I know she didn't feel good at all yesterday when I told her that she needed to pay this no show fee, but it was a lesson for her as well that we need to keep those boundaries for others, and if others have the permission and If others are capable to set up these boundaries, she's capable as well and it's important for her to set up these boundaries for herself. 
Looking on the other side, if you observe your behavior and be completely honest with yourself, how many times in your life, you pushed other people's boundaries because your needs were not met?

I can, I yeah, I can, I can admit that it happened to me in the past. If I struggled with something, I pushed other people's boundaries 

If we want to make a change in the world, if we don't like what is happening in the world around us, the change needs to happen with us. We're the ones who need to do the work, not others. If there's something that you don't like in other people, start working on yourself. Define your values and beliefs. Do your shadow work. Clear the extra things that are not yours.

Say - Enough!
So, there you go :)